When Faced With Christmas Queues: Meet Joe Retailer

Everyone knows that the Christmas season is the busiest time of the year when it comes to shopping in retail stores. Nevertheless, people seem to forget that more people shopping at the same time results in longer queues at stores. Any proper manners and common sense seem to fly out the door when faced with the prospect of having to stand in line for a few minutes longer than usual.

Stores have prepared for this inevitability by hiring seasonal helpers and by upping the amount of man-hours available each day. But, no matter how many extra workers are present at any given moment, there is still a limited number of registers present. For anyone who’s ever complained about the lack of employees during the Christmas season, please set aside a few minutes to think about this little mathematical word problem:

Retail World¹ has 12 cash registers for the convenience of the customers. Most of the year, only half of them are in use, maybe 9 tops during a busy day. In November and December though, every single register is in use from opening to closing.
Store policy suggests that the lines should never consist of more than 8 people, which really isn’t a problem most of the year. During Christmas, these lines, all 12 of them, frequently surpass the suggested limit.
Enter Joe Retailer², the General Manager of Retail World, has been thinking of several possible solution to this dilemma. Which one of them seems the most reasonable too you?

• A.) Build and install extra temporary cash registers for the duration of the Christmas season?
• B.) Hire more and more workers to ease the queues?
• C.) Change the registers into self-service registers, freeing up all the cashiers to mingle with and assist the customers?
• D.) Let customers with very little shopping and exact change just show their purchases and leave the money on the register?

So, what’s your answer for Joe Retailer? A? B? C? D? Or perhaps all of the above?

How’s about none of the above? Here’s why not:

• A.) There is no financially beneficial reason to add extra cash registers merely for the convenience of customers who don’t like to queue when lines are inevitable. Although more registers means faster checkout times, the gain monetarily is negative. More registers won’t bring in more customers. What they’ll bring instead are more costs for no extra green. For two months of the year (and several hot spots during the year) the extra registers will speed things up. For the other 10 months of the year they’re practically useless.
• B.) Although extra seasonal workers are already hired everywhere to man every register, stock shelves and assist customers, there’s a limit to the need of workers. If you have 12 registers in store, you only need about 14 cashiers at any given moment (12 to checkout customers, 2 to let the cashiers on breaks). Hiring 24 people to man 12 registers at the same time will only create pandemonium. Then it’s about the money. Employee paychecks are the largest single expenditure for all businesses. There is no point in hiring extra people to stand around without anything useful to do.
• C.) Sure, this solution will save money by lessening the need for extra workers. But think about the amount off money you’ll lose because people don’t know how to scan items properly. Then you’ve got those people who will do anything they can to scam the company. There will always be a need for cashiers…
• D.) Do you have ANY idea what kind of pandemonium that would cause?! You let just one person walk past the queue, show you their items, and drop their exact change on the counter, and suddenly you have a HUGE pile of money and no idea exactly what people have bought. The opportunity to scam the company is practically handed to those who are willing to abuse the right. A definite no-no.

After reviewing his options, Joe Retailer has almost given into despair. Isn’t there anything to be done to revolutionize the cash register procedure and avoid long queues?

No Joe Retailer, there isn’t. There is no reason to have extra registers, no need to hire more upon more workers, people aren’t ready to help themselves, and the last thing Joe Retailer needs is pandemonium on his watch.

Customers already get way too many whimsical and stupid requests through in the name of “excellent service”, usually without anything return. Why exactly should more money and time be wasted in merely pleasing lazy people?

This Christmas season, remember that there will be queues EVERYWHERE. Please learn to behave and wait in line just like everyone else before and after you. Oh, and don’t forget to first learn how to queue in an orderly fashion.

With less than a week to go before Christmas, everyone’s in a hurry and their stress levels are through the roof. Joe Retailer will not be inventing whole new business models for your benefit.

Queing is a fact of consumer life. It’s inevitable, no matter how much stores do to alleviate the burden of waiting. So, instead of waiting for a miracle solution to pop up and serve you, how’s about first taking good look at yourself in the mirror and asking yourself: how do I behave in queues?

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, or anything to add to his chapter of The Consumer Etiquette Guide, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions [More information on subscriptions]. Thank you for shopping at The Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

^{1: Retail World is a fictional store, created, as explained below, to drive home a point.
2: Joe Retailer is a fictional character created to drive home an example. If this process of adding of fictional characters for the purpose of proving a point is successful and popular with readers, I’ve got several other general characters lined up. Please leave your thoughts in the comments below!}

“Sir, I’m Not Retarded. I’m A Trainee”

A surprisingly large proportion of customers seem to be under the false impression that if you work somewhere, you know everything. Nevermind the fact that it might be the clerk’s first day…

There are for all sakes and purposes four kinds of workers in customer service:
Those who have worked for some time, be it a year or 35 years, and know the job like the back of their hand.
Those who have just started several weeks or months earlier and are still getting the hang of the job.
Those who are still in training.
Those who are either temporary workers, seasonal helpers, or students doing a short stint at a place of work for school.

Everyone starts out a new job practically clueless as to what to do. Some more than others, obviously. These people are known as trainees, because, well, they’re being trained on how to do the job. (Pretty self-explanatory, right?)

There are also varying levels of trainees, depending on attitude and prior working experience. Some people get with the program from the very beginning, while others may take a bit longer. Some, unfortunately, never get the hang of it.

For the consumer, dealing with trainees is a necessary evil as you will come into to contact with them quite often. The service industry has a huge turnover of workers, as most young people get their first proper taste of the working life and of customer service here, be it as a cashier at their neighbourhood grocery store, as a telemarketer for the shopping network, or standing behind the cash register at a fast food joint.

In the interest of cutting costs, many stores limit the amount of training new workers receive and usually assign another worker (as opposed to a manager) to handle the training. For example, in the first three weeks as a regular worker I’ve trained 4 temporary workers for about five hours each. Having been a temporary worker myself for the last two years doing what these trainees will be doing, I was immediately deemed to be the best person to train them. (Yay…)

I’ve compliled a short list of tips and hints for the consumer to help them make their shopping experience go a little smoother when faced with a trainee. Cue drumroll please!

• 1. If you’re in a crappy mood, try to stay away from the worker who is wearing a name tag that clearly states them to be a trainee.
  The said trainee will be slow, won’t know everything, is very likely to make a mistake, and all the other things that will piss you off when you’re in a pissy mood. Please move to another cash register, when applicable.

• 2. If there are two clerks at one cash register, one of whom is a trainee, don’t ask the other clerk to open another cash register for you.
  That other clerk is training the trainee and most probably can’t leave them alone. Furthermore, it’s not that simple to open another cash register, as go training cases there’s probably only one cash drawer between the clerk and the trainee.

• 3. If you have a difficult question or need help with something, don’t ask the trainee.
  You will not get an answer from them that will satisfy you. Why? Because they don’t know all that much yet. They’re in training to get to the point when they can serve you properly. That been said, you can ask a trainee a question if you realize that there’s a good chance that they will not know the answer to it, and will merely direct you to a co-worker. Helping customers and answering their questions is an integral part of all customer service positions so asking a trainee is a question will help the trainee go showing them a glimpse of what the job will be like. But no stupid questions and no extravagantly difficult questions, please.

• 4. If the trainee makes a mistake, be patient.
  Everyone makes mistakes. The newer one is at their job, the more likely it is that they’ll make a mistake. As one is supposed to learn from their mistakes, it’s actually a good thing for a trainee to make a mistake. Just DON’T start screaming at a trainee for making a mistake, no matter how severe the mistake was. There will be someone more experienced to fix any problems that might arise.

• 5. If the trainee doesn’t know how to do something, be patient.
  It is impossible to know everything on one’s first day. They’re not stupid or slow, they’re merely inexperienced. Every clerk you run across into whilst shopping has at one point been in the same situation as that trainee who doesn’t know all that much. It’s part of the circle of working life.

• 6. Don’t, for the love of Christ, start screaming at a trainee.
  What better way to put someone in an unfair and uncomfortable situation. “You must be new here. Allow me to welcome you by screaming my head at you for a rookie mistake.” Just grit your teeth and take a chill pill.

• 7. If you’re in a hurry, avoid the checkout counter with a trainee manning it.
  By default, most trainees will be ssloooowww. Checkout counters manned by a trainee usually have the shortest lines, but they’ll take as long as a line twice or three times as long. Enough said, I guess…

• 8. Don’t start changing your mind about your order or transaction while faced with a trainee.
  It’s hard enough to take in all that new information and how that new cash register system works and what all the store policies are. With all that cluttering up your mind, try to keep up with a customer who changes his or her mind every 4.8 seconds. Make up your mind BEFORE you get to the checkout counter.

• 9. Be understanding.
  If it’s someone’s first day, they need all the help from you that they can get. Patience is a virtue. Give the trainee some space to learn and do their brand-spanking new job.

• 10. And finally, a few lines to avoid saying when dealing with a trainee:
  -Do you know who I am?!?
  -I’m supposed to get a discount.
  -Why are you so slow?
  -Hurry up!
  -@&%€£§#}¤*%/<#&+@¥$@&%!!!
  -I’m a regular here and I ALWAYS get a discount/special treatment.
  -You should start looking for a new job because you suck at this one.
  -Are you retarded or something?

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, or anything to add to this chapter of The Consumer Etiquette Guide, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at The Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

The Business of Catalogues: Fact vs Fiction

Every so often a catalogue of varying thickness drops into your mailbox from a particular store.
Most people glance at it and throw it away.
Some scour through it for those (relatively useless) coupons.
Some make up their shopping lists from those catalogues.
Some treat them as their shopping bible.
Some just throw it away as junk mail.

It’s because of this variety of attitudes that stores mail them to EVERYONE. It’s also this variety of attitudes which causes some headaches for the staff at these particular stores.

Customers have on occasion returned the catalogues, along with several well though out words.
Some don’t bother looking at when the prices come into effect and rush to the store to get what they need, several days early.
Some gather up a dozen of the coupons, oblivious to the fact that they usually say something along the lines of ‘1 coupon per household’, then proceed to whine about it.
Others, and this blows my mind, have shown up with the catalogue to a supermarket, walked straight to the checkout counter where I was sitting as a cashier, handed me the catalogue within which they had circled the items they want and “asked” me to fetch them.

Catalogues themselves are a fickle bunch, with little consistency between them.
Some are so small they barely deserve to be called catalogues, just slightly larger than the little leaflets that people pass out on the streets; others are gargantuan opuses the size of atlases or the Yellow Pages, neatly bound and dropping into your mailbox with a confident and loud thunk.
Some are the very definitions of bland and boring, as if composed by a withered and disillusioned 98year old man who has already given up on life; others jump out at you with glee, as if put together by a bunch of colorblind monkeys on a cocktail of crack, acid and peyote, and that’ve been supplied with a warehouse of multicolored paints.
Some are strictly organized to the most minute of details with the precision of a group of highly paid military strategists, while the dictator himself was keeping a watch behind them; others look as if they’d been thrown together mere minutes before the deadline by a slew of college kids experiencing the worst hangover of their lives.

In order to protect the consumer from committing certain mistakes when dealing with catalogues, (and when I say ‘protect’ I mean protect the staff from headaches) I’ve composed a little Fact vs Fiction list of common issues regarding store catalogues. Enjoy!

FICTION: Every price and other details in the catalogue are accurate.
FACT: Catalogues are often riddled with mistakes and discrepancies. This is because they are often hastily thrown together with little regard for accuracy. Often the stores have been misinformed or uninformed about items that are on sale according to the catalogue.

FICTION: Every item in the catalogue should be available at my local branch.
FACT: Each store receives different numbers of particular items, based on the suppliers’ wacky notions of demand, which are not necessarily in tune with reality. Most of the time they just pull these numbers out of thin air. The only consistency is that smaller stores are likely to receive less of the items. With this in mind, if you’re looking to buy large quantities of nosehair trimmers, go to the largest possible branch in your area.

FICTION: I can buy any item in the catalogue on day that the catalogue is valid from.
FACT: Most often stores will not receive all items in the catalogue by the day they are meant to be there. This is usually due to varying shipment days and because stores are subject to the whims of the suppliers. Even if the store has received all the items in the catalogue, the staff haven’t necessarily had the time (read: man hours) to get all the items from the stockroom to the shelves.

FICTION: Supplies of the items mentioned in the catalogue will last as long as the sales are valid.
FACT: Maybe. Maybe not. There’s a reason why stores practically always make sure to write, in tiny lettering, “prices valid until [date], or as long as supplies last”, somewhere in the catalogue.

FICTION: The sales mentioned in the catalogue are already valid when the catalogue arrives.
FACT: That’d be kinda pointless, wouldn’t it? Stores tend to mail the catalogues a few days, maybe a week, before the sales come into effect. You know, to build up some hype about those 25 cent discounts. Let the consumer sweat it out for a few days. (Nevertheless, countless people tend not to know this and rush to the store on the day the catalogue arrives, screaming bloody murder when the items aren’t on sale or they can’t find them.) Printed on the front page of pretty much every catalogue are the dates when the sales are in effect, and especially when new items come on sale.

A catalogue is not a shopping bible. Nor is it infallible. Think of a catalogue as a guide to saving a few cents and being in tune with the latest trends in fashion. Consume in small doses to avoid overdosing on bargain hunting. Be sure to pack enough common sense for the hunt. Your catalogue will act as a map. The devil is in the details, so watch your step.

Thank you for not causing a wave of headaches for the clerks.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at The Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

A big thank you to my girlfriend, Nora, for helping me with this post.

The Complaints Notebook

Ever wonder what the cashiers at supermarkets do when they have nothing to do at the checkout counter? When they can’t leave their post? Twiddle their thumbs? Play Sudoku? Doodle? Take a nap?

Pretty much all of the above apply, except for the taking a nap, cuz that would be a bad idea. Oh the countless times I’ve longed to take a nap at work… In addition to the above, at least one supermarket I’ve worked at had a great little timewaster set up for ve cashiers: the Complaints Notebook.

Although the name might imply that this particular notebook serves as a place to write down customer complaints, so the store might improve upon these areas, that’s not the case. It’s something much much better than that.

This notebook is meant solely for the cashiers, for amusement. Management rarely see them, if they even know about them. Instead of writing down complaints that customers have directed at the cashier, the notebook serves as a place for the cashier to write down their complaints about the customers.

Now before you customers start to cry out Bloody Mary and Joseph, read on.

It takes months to fill in this little notebook. Having read many of them, I can tell you that they’re solely for the sake of amusement. No particular customer is singled out by name.

Only about a quarter of the contents of these notebooks are actually complaints about customers, and in those cases they’re very general. As an example, these complaints are typically in the form of “Don’t you hate it when customers…” or “Just had another customer who…”.

The majority of the entries into these notebooks are along the lines of “Boring…”, “Been sitting here for 45 minutes and hadn’t had a single customer in that time…”, “Two hours to go, before I get to party!”, “Register 12 again, the quietest register! Yay?”, and “I need coffee…”. You’ll also find such jewels as “I’ve had it with these f@%§ing christmas carols and it’s only November!” and “Here again, been a while since I last wrote something in this here notebook. How’s everyone doing?”. Must not forget about the doodles, either.

The point I’m trying to make is that not all “bad” customers end up in these notebooks for the amusement of the cashiers. Some of you do though.

So what kind of behavior will grant you a starring role? Read this blog and you’ll get an idea. And it’s not only the notebook you’ll end up in, as the staff love to talk shit about those who made their day sour. It’s a form of therapy to prevent cashiers and clerks from burning out on the job.

To everyone else in the field, how do you vent your frustrations about bad customers? You have a notebook at your checkout counter? Plenty of gossip and such in the breakroom? Need a drink after every shift? Or do you have a blog about it, as I’ve done. What’s your form of therapy?

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at The Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

Shopping Bags Part 2/2: The Proper Procedure With Plastic Bags

(This post is a continuation of yesterday’s post, “Shopping Bags Part 1/2: The Practice Of Paying For Plastic Bags”)

After you’ve come to grips with sometimes having to spend a few coins of small denomination for a plastic (or paper) bag, it’s time to learn of a some manners to keep in mind in such situations.

Firstly, “Plastic bag” is NOT an acceptable alternative to “Hi!/Hello!/Good Morning!/etc….”. No, seriously. The initial interaction between the clerk and the customer should not go like this:
Clerk: Good afternoon!
Customer: Plastic bag!

When procuring said plastic bags, please inform the clerk as to how many you’ll be taking. Waving a bunch of them in the clerk’s face won’t help. It helps to consider the fact that that bag is also an item for sale. You don’t show the clerk a package of chili-tomato sausages and say “Got a bunch of these”, nor would you just walk past the checkout counter and assume the clerk knows the exact contents of your shopping cart. Clearly state the number of bags you’ll be talking. Thank you.

Surprisingly many customers realize (or “realize”) that they need a bag AFTER paying for their shopping, usually when the clerk has already started to serve the next customer. Some genuinely forget about the bag, but sometimes it’s obvious (i.e. when the same person does it everyday) that the customer is in a way scamming the clerk, just to get a free bag. In addition to doing it all the time, other tell-tale signs are procrastinating with the packing in an attempt to time the “oops” perfectly, and going back to just grab a bag without saying a word to the clerk.

What I find absolutely ridiculous is when a customer (wearing a mink-coat that probably put her/her husband back a few grand, designer sunglasses by Prada, a Louis Vitton purse, enough makeup to last an average girl several years, and LOTS of diamond jewellery) gets offended (read: mortified) at either the cost of a plastic bag, or at actually having to pay for one, especially after paying 134.79€ for their shopping with a platinum credit card or a 500€ bill. Guess you can tell from the details that I’ve dealt with this specific customer… If you have money to spend in great quantities, look like a million bucks, and act like you own the store, you have no right to whine about a 20 cent piece of plastic! Those are not adequate reasons to be granted special service above other customers.

“I should get a free bag because I just spent a lot of money at this store” or “…because I shop here all the time.”
Again, not really good reasons to make you special. And ‘a lot of money’ is a relative concept anyway. Just like with discounts. It’s up to the clerk and/or store policy to decide who gets a free bag. It’s not up to the customer, as they don’t work there or don’t own the store. (If they do, it’s a different story.)

You know those little bags they have in the fruits & vegetables aisle? (In Finland they’re called ‘hevi’ bags, as in HEdelmä-VIhannes or FRuit-VEgetable. Interestingly though, ‘hevi’ also means ‘heavy’, as in heavy metal music.) Although free, if you decide to grab 30 of them to pack all your shopping into, technically the clerk could charge you for them in some stores. One supermarket I’ve worked at had a policy that customers could take a few, but pretty much for every 10 they ought to be charged 10 cents for. I’ve never actually charged anyone for them, but I have taken them back from a customer. (He took the whole roll of them, which is somewhere in the region of several thousand bags.) So please, don’t test the clerk’s nerves by taking a bunch of them just because they’re “free”. Just like they say with alcohol, use in moderation.

If saying a few tens of cents is really an issue, I’ve got one really simple hint which’ll ensure you’ll never have to pay for these plastic bags ever again. The secret? Bring your own bags from home!

When paying for these bags, remember that they are reusable, either as trash bags or shopping bags. You wouldn’t bring a flimsy little generic plastic bag which you got from Costco back to the store to reuse as your shopping bag, would you?

I give out a lot of free plastic bags to customers, much much more than I really should. Sometimes I can’t be bothered to ring it in separately. Sometimes the customer was really nice to me, so I’ll give them a bag for free.
Kids I rarely charge for a bag.
If you buy clothes or such, you’ll get a bag, just so you can’t mess up the clothing before you get home, only to return and say that the shirt you bought was dirty.
Assholes customers can stuff their shopping in their pockets, or they can pay the extra cents for the bag. I really don’t have to grant them any favours.

And finally, a little PSA in the mood of environmental awareness:
Think Environmentally. These sturdier bags which’ll put you back 20 cents can hold approx. 40 liters of produce. The flimsy little bags can hold a fraction of that, for the sale of argument let’s say at a ration of 1:4. Those 4 bags contain more non-biodegradable plastic than the bigger one. Nowadays, in some countries, the bigger bags can be recycled for raw ingredients to make more bags. It’s this kind of environmental thinking which has made some states, namely California, ban plastic grocery bags entirely.
So the next time you’re shopping and are in need of a plastic bag, you have several choices:
1. Bring your own bags. You can either reuse the same sturdy plastic bag you purchased on your last visit or bring your own canvas bag.
2. Go with paper.
Most stores offer an alternative in the form of a paper bag. If it costs, it might be a few cents more. Spend those extra pennies.
3. Say no to the flimsy, non-reusable plastic bags you get for free.
4. Ask the staff at the store if they have any empty cardboard boxes, and put you shopping into them. The boxes are also recycleable.
5. Just load all the items back into the shopping cart and from there to some cardboard boxes in your car.

This world is starting to drown in plastic. You have choices. If you care about these issues, talk to the manager (not the clerks) of your local store about becoming environmentally friendly concerning the use of plastic bags.
Disclaimer: I’m not an environmentalist. I prefer to follow a little thing I like to call common sense.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

Shopping Bags Part 1/2: The Practice Of Paying For Plastic Bags

For this one I’ll have to skip the American readers for a bit, as they’re not used to the practice I’ll be outlining in today’s post. (That doesn’t mean you can’t read this post though. Please, go ahead. You might learn a little bit about other countries.)

We’re talking shopping bags today. You know, those plastic (or paper) things you get from the checkout counter to stuff your shopping into, in case your pockets aren’t deep enough. Yeah, those things.

In many countries and particular stores customers take this wonderful invention for granted. Why? Because they’re free, that’s why. You know what? They’re not always free.

Dumbfounded? Allow me to explain. In many countries, especially the United States, customers are not used to paying for plastic bags. You get them free with your shopping from every store, even grocery stores. You go to Walmart, you expect to get that flimsy little plastic bag that’ll probably tear in half if you have to carry it any further than your car.

You’d never pay for a bag like that, would you? No? Good. The bags you have to pay for are a little different.

Let me explain how things work in Finland, as an example. Plastic bags in grocery stores in this winter wonderland cost between 0.10€ and 0.30€. Sound ridiculous? It won’t when you realize that they’re not the crappy flimsy plastic bags you get from Target or such. These bags are larger, stronger, more durable. Better, basically.

Wanna know how strong they are? Studies have apparently proven that Finnish plastic bags are stronger than condoms. Nevertheless, it is not suggested that these plastic bags are to be used as an alternative to condoms, as they are not ribbed for her pleasure. You’d pay for that kind of quality, wouldn’t you?

The practice of paying for these plastic bags is still limited to grocery stores and small chains in Finland. Clothing stores which love to spread their corporate feces everywhere will be more than happy to stuff your pink tanktop into their own bags. Why? Because they have more competition in their field. Specialty stores and supermarkets have significantly less competition, leading to the customer having to spend a few extra pennies for a plastic bag.

What the average consumer should keep in mind is the fact that stores are in the business of making a profit off every single item they sell. That applies to plastic bags too. Just like that industry-sized tub of lard, or the case of local beer which you’ve thrown into the pits of shopping cart. They’re not free to manufacture, after all. That being said, most stores could afford to hand them out for free with your purchase, but choose not to.

Now that you’re a little more aware of this practice, be sure to read tomorrow’s post, Shopping Bags Part 2/2: The Proper Procedure With Plastic Bags.
Part 2 will not only deal with situations when a customer has to pay for shopping bags, but also how to deal with free ones at the store, true to the theme of this blog.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

Temporary Workers Explained

Ever get the feeling that the clerk that served you didn’t seem like they really knew what they were doing? Maybe they’re new, you though to yourself. Maybe. Or maybe that clerk was a temporary worker.

I’ve worked as a temp practically full-time for the past 2.5 years, the first six months in the restaurant industry, and the past two years in retail. I just got a part-time job at a retail store that I’ve been working for as a temp, but I’m also continuing to work as a temp, just to make a little more money.

Temporary workers (or temps, or extras) are pretty much everywhere nowadays. Due to the trend of cutting costs, all the while ensuring that enough workers are present to serve customers, many stores rely on temp agencies for extra workers. Especially to cover for people who are sick, and during busy seasons, such as Christmas.

Temp agencies will hire pretty much anyone. The more workers they have, the higher their profits. Although anyone can get a job, it’s up to the worker to keep the job. If the worker can’t pull their weight, be diligent, basically a good worker, they’ll find themselves out of a job. It’s a cruel world.

So what kind of people work for a temp agency?

• Young adults who want working experience from many different fields of work, or are trying to figure out what exactly they want to do for work.
• Students who can’t accommodate a predefined work schedule with their studies, opting instead only to work when they have the time.
• Older people who are experiencing difficulties in getting hired.

That’s a generalization of the temp industry.

Temps are by no means lesser than the regular workers. They’re typically just a bit disoriented at first. Regular workers have the upper hand by knowing their coworkers and the store they work at pretty much like the back of their hand. Temps, on the other hand, generally work at many different locations. I’ve had weeks when in 5 days I’ve worked in 5 different stores in 3 different retail chains. Thus far, in two and a half years, I’ve managed to work in some 25 different stores.

Time for a little math lesson then. (try to keep up with this…)
25 stores
6 different cash register systems, or variations of such
25 different layouts of stores
25 times the coworkers (between 3 and 100+)
25 different sets of regular customers
25 first days at work
25 times having to prove that I’m a good worker
Get the picture? Temps don’t have it that easy, what with the added stress. That’s what we pay for the freedom to pick and choose our shifts.

Now for the critical part of this post. Many customers are unaware of the whole existence of temps. This is where the problem pops it’s butt-ugly head out from the bushes.

Temps are very often thought of as either inexperienced workers or bad workers. True, some are bad workers, but everyone’s inexperienced at first, right? Stores have their own policies for the hired help, basically putting temps in a position where they must act and behave as if they were part of the regular staff, when the whole store is alien to them. (can’t say: “I don’t know because I don’t really work here”, or so on.)
Pretend that you’re a regular worker at the store, but get treated as outside help. What to do, oh what to do…?

If a clerk doesn’t know something, let it slip. It might be their first day at that store. If you’re a regular who’s used to a little more, possibly a little discount or favor, a temp will not know that, unless they’ve been specifically told that. If you don’t recognize the person at the checkout counter, don’t assume you’ll receive that discount automatically. If you don’t get it, don’t press for it. The temp has no way of knowing who you are and about that special way to treat you. No screaming, please. Best just to forget about your special status for one day, instead of putting the temp in a really uncomfortable situation. Seek out a regular worker.
(What not to say: “Don’t you know who I am? I shop here everyday, and I always get a discount. Always. So you give it to me, now.”)

Temps are not anal about the rules of the store. They just can’t bend them a little, like the regular clerks can. Golden rule for all temps: do as you were taught by the manual or your trainer. Can’t go wrong by following the rules!

Customers: assume nothing about new faces in your store. They’re still wiping the sand out of their eyes. Not everyone’s a miracle worker from the getgo.

Most crucially though, there is one thing every customer should know. If any clerk ever treats you wrongly or is a horribly useless at what they do, feel free to inform management about it. (That’s right, you heard me right. You have my permission to complain in these situations.) Doesn’t matter if they’re a regular or a temp, feedback in these situations benefits everyone. Honestly. You could end up costing that temp their job in the long run, but hey, if they don’t know how to do their job, they shouldn’t do it then, right?

Positive feedback about a temp can also have a tremendous effect. What it boils down to is that the more positive feedback a temp gets, the more shifts they get offered. Always helps to know one’s doing a good job!

And finally, a short list of the pros and cons of being a temp:
Pros

• No long-term commitment (unless you choose to do so when the opportunity arises
• Ability to pick and choose shifts
• No need to beg for holidays
• Get a feel of many different working locations and environments
• Paycheck comes more frequently (I get paid every Monday)
• Work only as much as you feel like
• Easier to plan your social life
• If you get tired of one place, you don’t have to go back
• Possibly an easier way to get a full-time job where you want, without applying to many different places.
• No managerial work if you don’t want to do it
• Less responsibility
• Great for students

Cons

• No overtime pay (but you don’t have to work overtime)
• No health benefits (depending on country)
• No/little sense of belonging
• Less pay/minimum wage (depending on country and job)
• Don’t get to really know your coworkers
• No/little responsibility
• No set monthly salary
• When shifts are in short supply (e.g. between busy seasons), paycheck may be very thin
• No retirement plan/fund
• Can’t afford to be late or miss a shift, at all
• Having to prove that you’re a good worker every single day at work

Working as a temp isn’t for everyone. Being “new” somewhere all the time typically results in frowns and such reactions from customers who might view a temp as inexperienced or so on. So please, if the clerk serving you seems like they could be a temp, as I’ve outlined above, give them a little breathing room.

If you have any further questions about temps and working as one, I’ll be happy to answer any questions. Just leave your possible comments or questions in the comments section below this post.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

“We Don’t Do Refunds? Could’ve Told Me A Little Earlier…”

I’ve been working for the same store on and off for the last two years through a temp agency and I learn something new every day. Today’s lesson was that we don’t accept any refunds. Oh dear, this’ll be fun to explain to the customers.

We get a lot of refunds. Mostly it’s because the Chinese made crap broke in an instant. Ok, fine, we’ll accept those goods and either give you a new one or refund your money. I think. Gotta make sure I’m right on that one too.

Where the problem lies is that if you purchase something and then decide you don’t want it, we’ll exchange it for other items of the same value. Your money is now the company’s money.

Makes sense, right? Not for our customers. We get a lot of people buying things just to see if they fit. Such as picture frames. Most people don’t have a blue as to what size their picture is, so they’ll buy 9 of one size of frame. Just to return it the next day, because they weren’t the right size. I’ve never had any objections to this. Good customer service in my book. Take it home, try it out, if it’s not right for you, bring it back and we’ll refund you. It’s so common of a practice that this “new” guideline, which has been in place for years, will be a problem.

As far as refunds go, every store has their own guidelines to deal with them. Typically items of normal price, as to say not on sale, are refundable within 14 days from the time of purchase, in it’s original packaging with the tags still attached. With a receipt, of course.

Here’s a question to other retail clerks: what’s the refund policy at your store? I’ll try to gather up as many replies as I hopefully can to give consumers a good idea of what’s the norm with refunds. Might send out a few emails to companies, inquiring about their refund policies, if I can find the time.

So, today’s etiquette lessons on refunds, yes, that’s what I was supposed to talk about. Um, let’s see…:
Clerk: Find out what your store’s policy on refunds is.
As you could tell from above, I’ve just spent the last two years following what I’ve been told, and not the official guidelines. So find out what the policy is in your store (and let me know in the comments section below this post so I can make an average estimate about them.).

Consumers: If there’s the slightest chance that you might return any of the items you are purchasing, ask what the policy is.
For some reason, it’s not always visibly posted in stores. (Guess that’s management’s way of telling you that they don’t like it when people return stuff.)

If there’s a chance you might return something, DON’T THROW AWAY THE RECEIPT!
That receipt is pretty much the only way you can prove that you actually bought that item at that particular store. Doesn’t matter if you bought a candy bar or a hottub, just cram that receipt in you wallet for at least two weeks. You might need it. No receipt, no return. Capiche?

Rules change all the time.
If you managed to return something once, that doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be able to return something every time you do so. Sorry… The clerk doesn’t make up the rules.

Be reasonable with what you return.
Half-eaten candy bar? Um, no.
TV that doesn’t work? Sure.
Underwear that you’ve worn for a day but got a rash from? Get outta here!
A pair of galoshes that were on sale when you bought them? No dice.
The latest Britney Spears album because it sucked? You already tormented yourself by listening to it, it’s your problem now.
A Barbie PS3 game you bought for your grandson? Only if it was bought in a sealed package which is still intact.
A tub of ice cream that melted on the way home? Should’ve hurried home…
Get the idea? (If you’ve ever had any customer return something completely ridiculous, please, please write your story in the comments section below this post. I love to read that kind of things!)

Which brings me to a really entertaining blog from inside the walls of Walmart which you might find interesting. I find myself laughing out loud at some of the stories posted there. Go check it out: Behind The Counter.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

10 Things NOT To Say To A Clerk When Trying To Get A Discount

Everyone loves discounts, right? At the very least people lose their minds over discounts. Discounts are a simple way of making a customer feel as if he or she is getting a great deal no their purchase. They’re an integral part of the shopping experience, not unlike haggling and browsing the shelves. (please, for the love of God, DON’T try to haggle at a supermarket.)

There is a certain etiquette involved with successful inquiries into the possibility of a discount. This’ll be the topic of today’s post, more specifically about what NOT to say to a clerk when trying to get a discount.

There are three kinds of discounts. There’s the discounts which apply to all customers, i.e. ‘50% off all summer clothing’, ‘buy 3 get one free’, etc. There’s the discounts which apply to preferred customers, as in those who possess a particular store’s bonus card or such, i.e. ‘additional 10% off for bonus card holders’, etc. And then there’s the extraneous discounts which apply on a case to case basis, i.e. buying an item which is a little dented, or the last of it’s kind and not in pristine condition, etc.

There’s a specific time and place for asking for different types of discounts, and this is the one thing which most people don’t understand. In the list of 10 things NOT to say to a clerk when trying to get a discount, below, my focus is on supermarkets and retail stores, although many of the 10 apply to restaurants, taxis, hotels, and many other places where consumers come into contact with customer service.

The rule of the thumb is that clerks are most likely to give a discount to two kinds of customers: the nice ones, and the ones they want to get rid of. Were it up to me, only the nice customers would ever get any discount. Alas, it’s not up to me, and clerks have to listen to some of these award-winning quotes:

10: “I want a discount.”
Sure you do. We all do. But hey, any chance you could say it a little nicer? You sound like a 4-year old kid having a temper tantrum just because mommy won’t buy you a Super Ultra Cool Action Person with (Non-)Lethal Karate Plop Action(!). Pipe down, chill out, and explain to the clerk why you should get a discount. In a mature voice. Be reasonable.

9: “I could get this cheaper somewhere else, so if you want my business, you’ll give me a discount.”
Newsflash: The clerk in front of you really does not care whether or not you shop here or at the place down the street. Chances are you already shop at both places anyway. The clerk just works there. Unless the manager is breathing down their neck at that moment.
This kind of line, properly altered to be firm, yet polite, and not directed at the clerk per say, will work in some cases. It’s called ‘price matching’. I’ve only ever heard of this and have never actually had to experience it, but from what I’ve heard, especially electronic stores in the U.S. practice this kind of service. The idea is that, say Store A is selling an mp3 player for 179.99, and Store B, where you happen to prefer to shop at has the same player for 199.99, there’s the chance that Store B could drop the price for you to match that of Store A. Why? To be competitive. Note, this doesn’t work everywhere, and it doesn’t work in supermarkets or chains that have little or no competition in the same field.
Oh, and if you know you can get this particular item for cheaper down the road, why don’t you just hop on your Flintstone mobile and go there instead?

8: “It must be free then.” (when barcode doesn’t work, or it’s taking a while to find a price/code for an item.)
This has to be the most popular joke heard from customers. I hear it pretty much every other shift, atleast once. I’ve heard it being said about anything from a candy bar to a gas grill. I understand that many people use this phrase in the form or as a joke, but it’s getting old. So listen up people! Nothing is free. Nothing. I’ll explain further in a future post. For the sake of brevity.

7: “I shop here everyday and I think I deserve either a discount or something for free.”
Customers who focus their shopping at a particular store for that kind of goods are known as valued customers. That’s why stores have bonus cards or such which grant the consumer certain benefits, such as focused discounts or paying them back in cold hard cash.
The fact that you shop somewhere all the time doesn’t make you anymore special than the other people who do so. Be satisfied with what you get, because there’s already a benefits program in place for people such as yourself.

6: “I’m buying so much that I get a discount, right?”
Wrong. That might work at a flea market, a fish market or at an open air market. It’s a form of haggling. The clerk is the last person you should be saying this to, as they have guidelines to follow and can’t break the rules. And what exactly do you mean with ‘a lot’? If you purchase several thousand Euros or Dollars worth at your local grocery store, that’s a lot. It’s an arbitrary term. If the store has some kind of guidelines for issuing discounts for large purchases, you’re automatically covered.

5: “This item is ridiculously overpriced. I’ll pay (substantially less) for it.”
The items in stores are typically carefully priced, with regard to demand, availability and competitiveness. The consumer already determines the prices by their shopping trends. Why should you be granted a discount on an item which someone else would be willing to pay the full price for?

4: “I can’t afford this. Can I get a discount?”
Um, no. If you can’t afford something, maybe you shouldn’t buy it. The retail industry works on a for-profit business model, it’s not a charity organization. In today’s world, there’s a lot of competition between stores to offer the consumer the lowest possible prices. If something’s still too expensive for you, you don’t need it. Or get a credit card. Personal debt ought to be a great way of educating you on not purchasing something you can’t afford.

3: “There’s (a tiny speck of) dirt on this, so I’m not going to pay the full price for it.”
You just had to dig through the whole pile, just to find the one that wasn’t in pristine condition, didn’t you? Just to save a few pennies? Why? Most of the time there will be more of an item in stock so that you don’t have to buy the one that’s a little dirty or dented. If it really is the last one, then you might get a discount. If you say it’s the last one, but the shelves are full of that particular item, you’re scamming the store. I hear this line so often that it’s past the point when it’s random. Some customers do this everyday, for all kinds of items. Dirt is everywhere people! 9 times out of 10, the dirt will come off with a gentle swipe or wash.

2: “I don’t really want this but if you’ll give me good discount I might buy it.”
If you don’t want it, don’t buy it. Someone else might want it. Of tens of thousands of items in the store, why pick one you don’t want?
I know, I know, the customer in question is merely trying to get a discount on something that he or she really does want, but not like this, please. The clerk isn’t stupid.

1: “I’m not paying for this.”
Alright, I’ll call security then. Ok, no one is dumb enough to say this when they’re shoplifting. Well, maybe someone might say that is such cases, but usually when this is uttered it’s to throw the clerk off guard and throw the ball in their court. Too lazy to present any grounds for why they should get a discount, too lazy to even ask for one, the customer expects the clerk to offer them a deal. Um, we’re not mind readers. And we might not be in a position to offer you a deal. Pay the full price or move along. Thank you for not shopping here!

+1: This just happened to me recently. Woman walks in, browses a bit, then comes to me with a white ballpoint pen. The conversation went something like this:
“Hi. This pen is dirty.”
“They get like that because of the price tag.”
“No one will buy this because it’s dirty. I’ll buy it.”
“Ok, that’ll be 3.90 thank you.”
“I already have one at home, I don’t need another one. I’ll pay 50 cents for it.”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing wrong with the pen. Here, see. (I wipe the dirt off with one swipe.) It costs 3.90. If you really want the pen, I can give you a 10% discount on it.”
“Well, if my money isn’t good here I’ll go elsewhere.”

Righto. Another day, another whackjob.

I have purposely limited this list to just 10 (+1) banned phrases, in the interest of keeping this post short and simple. If you have any quotes to add to this list, please write them in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

10 Things NOT To Say To A Clerk On A Busy Day

10: “Busy day, huh?”
Thank you pointing out the obvious. You’re the first person to tell me that today. I don’t think I would have noticed without you. Now move along, you’re holding up the queue.

9: “I forgot to weight my vegetables. Be a good boy/girl and go do that for me.”
Gladly. While I do that, would you be so kind as to explain to the 27 people behind you why they have to wait longer in line while I’m off doing what you should have done yourself.

8: “Why don’t you have more checkout counters open?”
Oh, we would if it were up to the clerks. Because it isn’t, you have to settle for what’s available, while we have to work harder and faster to clear the growing queues. Talk to
management.

7: “You need to open more checkout counters
to get rid of the queues.”
Really, Captain Obvious? Ever occur to you that we’ve already called for more checkout counters? It’s not economically beneficial to have 25 people sitting around twiddling their thumbs, just waiting for those brief periods of time when it’s really busy. We’re doing the best we can. See above.

6: “Hold on for a minute, I forgot some goods.”
The best time to say this is when it’s your turn and the clerk has already registered all your items. That way you’ll hold up the queue most efficiently. That was your purpose, right? No? Well you did it anyway.

5: “I’m going to pay with coins.”
Unless you have no other means of payment on you, please don’t pay with coins when it’s a busy day. It’s the slowest possible means of payment, especially if you try to come up with the exact change. Oh, and whatever you do, DON’T hand the clerk a piggy bank or a plastic bag full of coins and tell them to find the right amount, from the smallest possible denomination. No one wants to have to handle, let alone count, 2159 pennies. Go to the bank.

4: “Hold on, I have to take this call.”
Um, no you don’t. It’s rude to talk on your phone while making a shopping transaction. It’s inconsiderate towards the clerk, as well as the other customers behind you. Tell the person that you’ll call back or have them call you back. If you really do have to take the call, don’t forget that you’re holding up the line. The other customers won’t complain to you about it, they’ll complain to the clerk. Thanks.

3: “You can’t go on break now, you have to serve me.”
Um, yes I can, and I will. If you’re going to be a twat about it, I really don’t want to serve you. And you know what? I don’t have to. I have every right to take a break. Actually, it’s government mandated. So pipe down and move to another queue. There are other queues, you know.

2: “Why are you so slow?”
Let’s see. I’m tired. I’ve been at work for hours. I’ve been making the same back and forth movement repeatedly for several hours at a time. I’ve been yelled at. I haven’t had my morning cup of coffee yet. I might be new to this job.
Take your pick. Clerks are only human. No matter how fast we’re moving, it’s always too slow for someone. We do our best, depending on the circumstances.

1: “Move faster, I don’t have all day.”
It’s ok, we get paid by the hour, we’re in no hurry, we do have all day. Every clerk moves as fast and as efficiently as he or she can at that given moment. It would be cruel and unusual to assume that one can work at breakneck speed for in excess of 8 hours a day. If you tell us a plausible reason as to why we have to move fast, politely, we might just dip into that little extra energy which we might have stored up.

+1: “I want to talk to the manager.” (after your credit card has been rejected) [Contributed by James]
The manager isn’t going to be able to miraculously snap his/her fingers and make your card work again. If the card was rejected, there was probably a darn good reason for that. Wanting a second opinion is just going to make everyone in line have to wait a little longer. Btw, the manager will merely repeat the EXACT same things as the clerk. Your busted/closed/expired/empty/maxed out/etc card WILL NOT WORK NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES OR HOW MANY PEOPLE TRY TO USE IT! So hand over another card or gimme some cash.

I have purposely limited this list to just 10 banned phrases, plus contributions, in the interest of keeping this post short and simple. If you have any quotes to add to this list, please write them in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!