Mommy’s Little Helper

Having your four-year old help you out with your shopping is an issue loaded with mixed feelings from behind the counter. On one hand it’s kinda cute, on the other it can be really frustrating for the cashier.

I’m glad you’re teaching your kid the value of money and how to shop from an early age. They will grow up to become consumers just like you, so starting them off at an early age is a good idea. Sometimes these kids are really cute when they’re making a purchase, adorable even.

Unfortunately though, most of you parents haven’t got the foggiest about what you’re doing and how you should go about teaching your kids to shop.

Your kids will learn quickly to be just like you. So, if you have no manners and are generally rude to the cashier, that little angel you have with you will grow up to be a little demon just like you. You want to be setting a good example, as opposed to being generally whiny and bitchy. Eventually they might realize the best way to go about it, learning from your mistakes, but until them it’s best to set them on the right path.

Here are a few tips on what kind of etiquette most parents have not taught their kids about shopping, and which incidentally many of these said parents ought to learn themselves first, as well as a few pointers to general checkout behavior with your kid:

• It’s polite to greet the cashier, as well as reply to their greeting in a similar fashion.
  This unwritten suggestion applies to both you and your child. Most kids, regardless of age, act as if they were mute and/or dumb. With the smaller kids I can understand that they might be a little intimidated about the situation, but with older kids it’s just rude. A mumble isn’t a very good greeting either.

• The items the child is purchasing should be put on the counter instead of throwing them on it.
  Whether the child is buying these items themselves or they are helping you unload your shopping cart/basket, try to teach the kid not to throw the fragile items on the counter, or any item for that matter. I don’t want to pick up broken sauce jars from the ground or my lap.

• Make sure your kid can count before making them pay for something.
  It’s really frustrating to have to stand by and wait for a kid to count their money, mess up, start over, count their money, mess up, start over, rinse, lather, repeat.

• When your kid passes the cashier your bank or credit card, that doesn’t mean they’ll be signing for it.
  I’ve actually had to teach a few adults that no, your kid can’t sign for you as it has to be the same signature as on the back of the card.

• Pay attention to the people in line behind you.
  Sure, your kid has to learn all this eventually, but you think it’s the right time for it when there’s only one cash register and one cashier, and there are 15 people behind you, three minutes before closing?

• Please, for the love of God, don’t bring your kid and their piggy bank to a store.
  Nobody wants to wait for a 7yr old to count their pennies, especially when they have great difficulty counting past 10…

• Don’t force your kids to be polite and do everything themselves.
  The kid will not learn by being forced to do something. Do YOU work well under pressure, with someone shouting at you and calling you an idiot? They’re kids, for crying out loud, not hand puppets or slaves!

• Go ahead and let your kid help you pack your shopping, but please don’t just stand around expecting them to do the whole thing.
  One, your kid isn’t that fast or efficient at packing. Two, you’re holding up the line.
  Three, don’t just stand there with your arms crossed, shout orders at your kid, and then make them redo it when they did a crummy job at it.

• The counter area is not your kid’s personal playground.
  Don’t let them play with the items on the counter, don’t let them play with the little gate at the counter, don’t let them go behind the counter where I’m at, and for the love of Christ don’t let them climb on th counter. I had a kid who was hanging on the plexiglass at my supermarket counter, even after I told the kid AND them mom that it could break. What happens? The plexiglass broke and the kid went crashing down to the ground. Don’t give me an evil look after I told you what could happen.

• Try to control your kids at the checkout counter.
  I’m trying to be as fast and efficient as possible, but that’s not gonna work when your kids are running around with you shouting and running after them.

• Try to make sure your kids have picked out everything they need BEFORE you get to the checkout counter.
  As opposed to me having to do six different one item transactions with you because your kids keep bringing items to you all the time and you can’t say no to them.

• If you sent your kid to buy something and they spent all their money on useless stuff, don’t come back to the store with the kid crying their eyes out and you shouting at the cashier for selling them so much stuff.
  It’s not the cashier’s fault your kid does not understand the value of money. Nor is it the cashier’s job to control what your kid buys. Stores usually have a policy that cashier will not try to sell extra for kids, so don’t come screaming at up if they bought a lot.

• And finally, my biggest peeve (read: major effing hatred) with kids and parents. This is so crucial that I have to capitalize it. DON’T SEND YOUR LITTLE KID TO BUY YOU ALCOHOL OR CIGARETTES!!!
  I don’t care if they have a note from you or if they tell me that you are sick and thus unable to buy your liquor yourself. It is AGAINST THE LAW to sell alcohol or cigarettes to a child under the legal age for those products, regardless of who it’s for. And there’s no use in barging into the store later, looking like you’re going to murder someone, yelling at the cashier because “you had to come all the way to the store just because your kid wasn’t allowed to purchase your booze for you”. I’m not in the mood to break the law, lose my job, and get fined, just so you can get loaded.

I like kids, they’re usually well behaved and potentially cute. It’s awesome that parents are teaching their kids about the whole shopping experience and getting a soft-spoken “Thank you” from a little kid is one of those things that really make your day. That been said, the bottom line is that kids really shouldn’t deal with money until they know how to count. I’m not talking advanced calculus or anything, just simple addition.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, or anything to add to this chapter of The Consumer Etiquette Guide, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at The Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!