10 Things Customers Do Which Might Make The Clerks Think They’re Shoplifting

Shoplifting is troublesome for employees working in the service industry. It’s an added, unnecessary stress.

Age, gender and social status are not accurate indicators of whether one will steal or not. I’ve witnessed people from all walks of life shoplifting, from an 8yr old girl to an 80yr old man. Here are some general things that make the employees at supermarkets and such suspicious of you being a potential shoplifter. No one wants to be falsily accused of being a shoplifter, so if you avoid these tell-tale behaviorisms, you won’t be suspected without due cause.

10. Wearing out of season clothing.
This is the easiest way to get noticed by the employees. If you’re wearing shorts and a tanktop in the dead of winter, you won’t really be suspected of shoplifting, as much as being thought of as a nutcase. If, on the other hand, you’re wearing a thick winter jacket when it’s blazing hot outside, you’re still thought of as a nutcase, but you’ll also be kept under the watchful eye of the staff present. A thick jacket is a good hiding place for stolen goods. In the winter, when everyone’s wearing thick jackets, you really have to look shady to be suspected of being a possible candidate for a shoplifter. Read on…

9. Carrying a large bag.
If you’re going to be shoplifting, you’re going to need some place to stow away the goods. This is common sense, which means that if you walk into a store carrying a HUGE (empty) bag, chances are you’ll be asked to either leave the bag at a register when you enter the store or open it for the cashier when leaving. If you are in fact asked to leave or show the the contents of your bag, don’t be offended. Trust me, the clerks would rather not have to suspect you of anything sinister, but because there are people who shoplift, innocent people must be inconvenienced. We apologize.

8. Spending a long time browsing, then not buying anything.
Sure, many people just browse and then exit the store because they haven’t found anything they need. It’s when you spend a disproportionately long time shuffling through items, especially those which are at a high-risk of being jacked, you’re likely to be watched. Usually people just can’t make up their minds or don’t really know what they’re looking for, but, alas, some people are just looking for an opening, a lapse in the clerks’ attention, a chance to grab and run.

7. Looking like a shady, suspicious character.
If you enter a store looking like you want people to be suspicious of your actions, that’s exactly what will happen. The terms “shady” and “suspicious” are pretty vague, so here’s a list within a list to further explain what you should not look like or wear to avoid being suspected of shoplifting:

• Looking like a hobo.
• Looking like you’re on a cocktail of numerous recreational drugs.
• Wearing a trench coat or hoodie with the hood up.
• Wearing sunglasses at night.
• Looking nervous.
• Being fidgety.
• Mumbling to yourself.
• Being a wobbly person (i.e. drunk as a dodo).
• Trying to conceal your face with a scarf or bandanna.
• Carrying an open bag.
• Running around like a mad man.
• Wearing a thick jacket in the summer (see #10).
• Practising your magic skills (i.e. making a DVD disappear).
• Continuing the one above, carrying an item, then have it mysteriously not be in your hand a few aisles later.
• Wearing a skimask. (I know it might be really cold outside, but you have seen yourself in the mirror, right?)
• Having an extremely deliberate look on your face.
• Looking like you’re going to steal something. (No, seriously, if you’ve worked in retail long enough, you will recognize this look.)

6. Putting your shopping in your pockets or bag instead of a cart/basket.
First of all, there is never a need to put ANYTHING from the shelves into your bag or pockets. That’s why stores have baskets and carts for your convenience. If you’re witnessed putting something in your pockets or bag, YOU WILL BE ASKED TO EMPTY YOUR POCKETS OR BAG. There are baskets and/or shopping carts next to the entrances so you don’t have to use your pockets. If you can’t find a basket or a cart, ask an employee as to their whereabouts. If you did put stuff in your pockets, don’t be offended if you’re asked to empty your pockets. How exactly is the clerk supposed to know for sure that you’re actually going to pay for the stuff in your pockets?

5. Using the wrong exits to leave the store.
Supermarkets and grocery stores generally have a system where you’re supposed to enter the actual store area from one place and exit through the registers. That’s why the entrance gates don’t open in both directions. The surest way to get someone running after you or suspecting you of shoplifting is by bypassing the barrier by hopping over it or doing the limbo under it. Nor should you exit through it when people are entering. IT IS NOT AN EXIT! A supermarket chain I used to work at had people at several locations leaving through the entrance carrying a big ass TV at several locations, so the cashiers were told to report ANYONE using the entrance as an exit.

4. Running out of the store past the registers.
I don’t care if you’re running late for your bus, I will stop you if you run past my register. Why? Because that’s how I’ve stopped several thiefs trying to run away with beer. If you are in a hurry, WALK past the register and SHOW the cashier that you don’t have anything on you.

3. Glancing around all the time, as well as glancing at the employees all the time.
Say, you look mighty nervous. Don’t worry, the security guard and/or the clerks will calm you down. No, seriously, glancing around is another great way to get noticed. If you’re glancing around, looking nervous, you come off as VERY suspicious. If you need help and that’s why you’re glancing around, go to an employee and ASK for help. If you’re glancing to find a spot where you can slip something into your pocket, don’t worry, that’s why the store has security cameras. This is behavior which’ll definitely get you to be followed very closely.

2. Walking briskly, especially when entering the store.
Although most shoplifters try to hide their mischievous behavior in some way, some idiots use the speedy way. Walk in briskly, go to the item you’re going to steal, and walk straight out, all the time keeping the same brisk pace. I’ve witnessed this several times myself, and I’m still surprised at how arrogant this approach is. Good thing is, these are more noticeable and thus a good description of them can immediately be passed on to the police. Words of advice to every customer: don’t be in a hurry, as speed walkers will definitely be noticed.

1. Walking out of the store without buying anything.
Now this one needs a bit of clarification. First of all, everyone does this. I’d go so far as to say that on a typical day as many as a fifth of all customers just browse and leave without buying anything. Perfectly normal behavior, as buying something from every store you enter is not a requirement. The proper etiquette with walking out the store without buying anything? Allow the cashier to notice you, let the cashier know you’re not buying anything, show your bags to the cashier, and don’t be in a hurry. If you walk past the register without saying a word and with your glance averted, someone will yell or run after you. Do you REALLY want everyone around you at that moment to think you might be a shoplifter?

Consumers: If you’ve ever been (incorrectly) suspected of shoplifting, what did you do to provoke this?

Clerks: Did I leave something out? What makes you suspect someone of shoplifting?

I have purposely limited this list to just 10 sections, in the interest of keeping this post short and simple. If you have anything to add to this list, please write them in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

10 Things NOT To Say To A Clerk When Trying To Get A Discount

Everyone loves discounts, right? At the very least people lose their minds over discounts. Discounts are a simple way of making a customer feel as if he or she is getting a great deal no their purchase. They’re an integral part of the shopping experience, not unlike haggling and browsing the shelves. (please, for the love of God, DON’T try to haggle at a supermarket.)

There is a certain etiquette involved with successful inquiries into the possibility of a discount. This’ll be the topic of today’s post, more specifically about what NOT to say to a clerk when trying to get a discount.

There are three kinds of discounts. There’s the discounts which apply to all customers, i.e. ‘50% off all summer clothing’, ‘buy 3 get one free’, etc. There’s the discounts which apply to preferred customers, as in those who possess a particular store’s bonus card or such, i.e. ‘additional 10% off for bonus card holders’, etc. And then there’s the extraneous discounts which apply on a case to case basis, i.e. buying an item which is a little dented, or the last of it’s kind and not in pristine condition, etc.

There’s a specific time and place for asking for different types of discounts, and this is the one thing which most people don’t understand. In the list of 10 things NOT to say to a clerk when trying to get a discount, below, my focus is on supermarkets and retail stores, although many of the 10 apply to restaurants, taxis, hotels, and many other places where consumers come into contact with customer service.

The rule of the thumb is that clerks are most likely to give a discount to two kinds of customers: the nice ones, and the ones they want to get rid of. Were it up to me, only the nice customers would ever get any discount. Alas, it’s not up to me, and clerks have to listen to some of these award-winning quotes:

10: “I want a discount.”
Sure you do. We all do. But hey, any chance you could say it a little nicer? You sound like a 4-year old kid having a temper tantrum just because mommy won’t buy you a Super Ultra Cool Action Person with (Non-)Lethal Karate Plop Action(!). Pipe down, chill out, and explain to the clerk why you should get a discount. In a mature voice. Be reasonable.

9: “I could get this cheaper somewhere else, so if you want my business, you’ll give me a discount.”
Newsflash: The clerk in front of you really does not care whether or not you shop here or at the place down the street. Chances are you already shop at both places anyway. The clerk just works there. Unless the manager is breathing down their neck at that moment.
This kind of line, properly altered to be firm, yet polite, and not directed at the clerk per say, will work in some cases. It’s called ‘price matching’. I’ve only ever heard of this and have never actually had to experience it, but from what I’ve heard, especially electronic stores in the U.S. practice this kind of service. The idea is that, say Store A is selling an mp3 player for 179.99, and Store B, where you happen to prefer to shop at has the same player for 199.99, there’s the chance that Store B could drop the price for you to match that of Store A. Why? To be competitive. Note, this doesn’t work everywhere, and it doesn’t work in supermarkets or chains that have little or no competition in the same field.
Oh, and if you know you can get this particular item for cheaper down the road, why don’t you just hop on your Flintstone mobile and go there instead?

8: “It must be free then.” (when barcode doesn’t work, or it’s taking a while to find a price/code for an item.)
This has to be the most popular joke heard from customers. I hear it pretty much every other shift, atleast once. I’ve heard it being said about anything from a candy bar to a gas grill. I understand that many people use this phrase in the form or as a joke, but it’s getting old. So listen up people! Nothing is free. Nothing. I’ll explain further in a future post. For the sake of brevity.

7: “I shop here everyday and I think I deserve either a discount or something for free.”
Customers who focus their shopping at a particular store for that kind of goods are known as valued customers. That’s why stores have bonus cards or such which grant the consumer certain benefits, such as focused discounts or paying them back in cold hard cash.
The fact that you shop somewhere all the time doesn’t make you anymore special than the other people who do so. Be satisfied with what you get, because there’s already a benefits program in place for people such as yourself.

6: “I’m buying so much that I get a discount, right?”
Wrong. That might work at a flea market, a fish market or at an open air market. It’s a form of haggling. The clerk is the last person you should be saying this to, as they have guidelines to follow and can’t break the rules. And what exactly do you mean with ‘a lot’? If you purchase several thousand Euros or Dollars worth at your local grocery store, that’s a lot. It’s an arbitrary term. If the store has some kind of guidelines for issuing discounts for large purchases, you’re automatically covered.

5: “This item is ridiculously overpriced. I’ll pay (substantially less) for it.”
The items in stores are typically carefully priced, with regard to demand, availability and competitiveness. The consumer already determines the prices by their shopping trends. Why should you be granted a discount on an item which someone else would be willing to pay the full price for?

4: “I can’t afford this. Can I get a discount?”
Um, no. If you can’t afford something, maybe you shouldn’t buy it. The retail industry works on a for-profit business model, it’s not a charity organization. In today’s world, there’s a lot of competition between stores to offer the consumer the lowest possible prices. If something’s still too expensive for you, you don’t need it. Or get a credit card. Personal debt ought to be a great way of educating you on not purchasing something you can’t afford.

3: “There’s (a tiny speck of) dirt on this, so I’m not going to pay the full price for it.”
You just had to dig through the whole pile, just to find the one that wasn’t in pristine condition, didn’t you? Just to save a few pennies? Why? Most of the time there will be more of an item in stock so that you don’t have to buy the one that’s a little dirty or dented. If it really is the last one, then you might get a discount. If you say it’s the last one, but the shelves are full of that particular item, you’re scamming the store. I hear this line so often that it’s past the point when it’s random. Some customers do this everyday, for all kinds of items. Dirt is everywhere people! 9 times out of 10, the dirt will come off with a gentle swipe or wash.

2: “I don’t really want this but if you’ll give me good discount I might buy it.”
If you don’t want it, don’t buy it. Someone else might want it. Of tens of thousands of items in the store, why pick one you don’t want?
I know, I know, the customer in question is merely trying to get a discount on something that he or she really does want, but not like this, please. The clerk isn’t stupid.

1: “I’m not paying for this.”
Alright, I’ll call security then. Ok, no one is dumb enough to say this when they’re shoplifting. Well, maybe someone might say that is such cases, but usually when this is uttered it’s to throw the clerk off guard and throw the ball in their court. Too lazy to present any grounds for why they should get a discount, too lazy to even ask for one, the customer expects the clerk to offer them a deal. Um, we’re not mind readers. And we might not be in a position to offer you a deal. Pay the full price or move along. Thank you for not shopping here!

+1: This just happened to me recently. Woman walks in, browses a bit, then comes to me with a white ballpoint pen. The conversation went something like this:
“Hi. This pen is dirty.”
“They get like that because of the price tag.”
“No one will buy this because it’s dirty. I’ll buy it.”
“Ok, that’ll be 3.90 thank you.”
“I already have one at home, I don’t need another one. I’ll pay 50 cents for it.”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing wrong with the pen. Here, see. (I wipe the dirt off with one swipe.) It costs 3.90. If you really want the pen, I can give you a 10% discount on it.”
“Well, if my money isn’t good here I’ll go elsewhere.”

Righto. Another day, another whackjob.

I have purposely limited this list to just 10 (+1) banned phrases, in the interest of keeping this post short and simple. If you have any quotes to add to this list, please write them in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!

10 Things NOT To Say To A Clerk On A Busy Day

10: “Busy day, huh?”
Thank you pointing out the obvious. You’re the first person to tell me that today. I don’t think I would have noticed without you. Now move along, you’re holding up the queue.

9: “I forgot to weight my vegetables. Be a good boy/girl and go do that for me.”
Gladly. While I do that, would you be so kind as to explain to the 27 people behind you why they have to wait longer in line while I’m off doing what you should have done yourself.

8: “Why don’t you have more checkout counters open?”
Oh, we would if it were up to the clerks. Because it isn’t, you have to settle for what’s available, while we have to work harder and faster to clear the growing queues. Talk to
management.

7: “You need to open more checkout counters
to get rid of the queues.”
Really, Captain Obvious? Ever occur to you that we’ve already called for more checkout counters? It’s not economically beneficial to have 25 people sitting around twiddling their thumbs, just waiting for those brief periods of time when it’s really busy. We’re doing the best we can. See above.

6: “Hold on for a minute, I forgot some goods.”
The best time to say this is when it’s your turn and the clerk has already registered all your items. That way you’ll hold up the queue most efficiently. That was your purpose, right? No? Well you did it anyway.

5: “I’m going to pay with coins.”
Unless you have no other means of payment on you, please don’t pay with coins when it’s a busy day. It’s the slowest possible means of payment, especially if you try to come up with the exact change. Oh, and whatever you do, DON’T hand the clerk a piggy bank or a plastic bag full of coins and tell them to find the right amount, from the smallest possible denomination. No one wants to have to handle, let alone count, 2159 pennies. Go to the bank.

4: “Hold on, I have to take this call.”
Um, no you don’t. It’s rude to talk on your phone while making a shopping transaction. It’s inconsiderate towards the clerk, as well as the other customers behind you. Tell the person that you’ll call back or have them call you back. If you really do have to take the call, don’t forget that you’re holding up the line. The other customers won’t complain to you about it, they’ll complain to the clerk. Thanks.

3: “You can’t go on break now, you have to serve me.”
Um, yes I can, and I will. If you’re going to be a twat about it, I really don’t want to serve you. And you know what? I don’t have to. I have every right to take a break. Actually, it’s government mandated. So pipe down and move to another queue. There are other queues, you know.

2: “Why are you so slow?”
Let’s see. I’m tired. I’ve been at work for hours. I’ve been making the same back and forth movement repeatedly for several hours at a time. I’ve been yelled at. I haven’t had my morning cup of coffee yet. I might be new to this job.
Take your pick. Clerks are only human. No matter how fast we’re moving, it’s always too slow for someone. We do our best, depending on the circumstances.

1: “Move faster, I don’t have all day.”
It’s ok, we get paid by the hour, we’re in no hurry, we do have all day. Every clerk moves as fast and as efficiently as he or she can at that given moment. It would be cruel and unusual to assume that one can work at breakneck speed for in excess of 8 hours a day. If you tell us a plausible reason as to why we have to move fast, politely, we might just dip into that little extra energy which we might have stored up.

+1: “I want to talk to the manager.” (after your credit card has been rejected) [Contributed by James]
The manager isn’t going to be able to miraculously snap his/her fingers and make your card work again. If the card was rejected, there was probably a darn good reason for that. Wanting a second opinion is just going to make everyone in line have to wait a little longer. Btw, the manager will merely repeat the EXACT same things as the clerk. Your busted/closed/expired/empty/maxed out/etc card WILL NOT WORK NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES OR HOW MANY PEOPLE TRY TO USE IT! So hand over another card or gimme some cash.

I have purposely limited this list to just 10 banned phrases, plus contributions, in the interest of keeping this post short and simple. If you have any quotes to add to this list, please write them in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!