Well, isn’t that just peachy… I know there’s a bird in the store, kinda hard to miss a bird freaking out, trying to find a way outside. You don’t have to remind me about it, thank you very much.
First, let’s get the facts straight. Birds tend to seek warmer places when the temperature drops. Why do you think most birds fly south for the winter? The birds that stick it out, the small ones which come by the little deli you’ve set up for them in your backyard, fare better in the cold. Nevertheless, an open door to a warm building is inviting to them. Cold outside, warm inside. Which would you choose? Exactly. Birds inside stores is not a rare occurrence, especially in the winter. Supermarkets (and restaurants) get them all the time, mainly because the birds can survive inside a supermarket for a really long time (plenty of food, you see…). Retail shops which don’t have food on the shelves, although not spared from an avian visit, have a rarer occurrence of such visits.
That’s not to say that birds don’t ever come into retail stores. They do. We just had a blue tit in our store yesterday, much to the disappointment and amusement of the customers. (When I say ‘disappointment’, I mean that customers were disappointed, even angry at me for having a bird in the store. Because it’s totally MY fault, right?) Anyhow, the picture at the top of this post is of this particular flying creature. Let me tell you, it isn’t an easy task to photograph a frantic bird flying around inside a store. Took a while, but I got somewhat of a good picture. Probably should’ve spent that time working, but following the little cretin was more fun. Well, the one which I got a picture of and his little friend. Yeah, we had two. In the first hour of my shift a whole 28 people mentioned that there was a bird in the store. (Not too difficult to miss…)
Customers have several different ways of behaving in relation to these avian creatures. Some scream, some stare at the bird, some run outside, and most people tell/complain about it to the clerks. Here are a few things which customers have said to me about a bird in the store:
“Why don’t you keep the doors closed so they can’t come into the store?”
Sure, that might work, but how do customers come into the store then? Slight hiccup in your wonderfully original idea. The doors ARE closed so that it doesn’t get too cold inside, and so that birds don’t come inside. Notice how the door just happens to open when you walk in? That’s how the birds come inside. With you.
“You need to do something about that bird. Now.”
Have you ever tried to catch a bird, especially one which won’t stay still for longer than a few seconds at a time? I’m pretty much confined to the ground, whereas the bird I’m supposed to catch is quite a bit smaller than I am, and knows how to fly. What can I do? All I can do is what my boss or such tells me to do about it, or I have to follow store guidelines.
“Call an exterminator to get rid of that darn bird.”
That is not my call. I merely work at this establishment, I don’t make the calls. I’ll pass the message along, yes, but it won’t happen immediately. Retail stores don’t usually call for the services of an exterminator. Why? It costs money, and it isn’t crucial. Not trying to imply that I advocate animal cruelty or anything, but if there’s no food in the store, the bird will eventually find a way out or die of starvation. Supermarkets and restaurants have more of a pressing urgency to get rid of the bird in the store. Birds and fresh food don’t really mix. The exterminator is on his way.
“Why don’t you open the door and sprinkle some nuts or something right by the entrance so the bird will leave?”
Although it’s possible that that might work, ever consider that an open door and some nuts are an open invitation for MORE birds?
“You need to get a net to catch the bird.”
Um, I know. It isn’t exactly easy to catch a bird with a shopping basket, your hands or so on. What if I don’t have access to a net?
“If you’re not going to do anything about it, I’ll catch the bird.”
Um, I’m working here, and I have more pressing issues, such as serving customers, which is what I’m being paid for. If I forgo that to catch the bird, more people complain that they’re not getting service. Hmm, catch-22… Oh, and no, you won’t be trying to catch the bird. That’s not your job. Actually, you’re not allowed to because in case you injure yourself doing so, the store may be held responsible. Ridiculous, huh? You do something stupid, and it’s someone else’s fault. You’ll probably cause more harm than good anyway.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please, don’t panic, it’s all under control. It’s just a damn bird. Just because the media hyped up that little thing called Avian Flu, clerks have to listen to more complaints and groundless panic from customers. So, if you see a bird in a store, there’s no need to inform anyone about it. The staff are aware of it’s presence. The bird will be dealt with according to store guidelines. It is not your problem, it’s ours. Thank you, and please keep on shopping. Oh, and have a nice day!
(No sign of either one of yesterday’s birds today. They’re either dead or gone. Problem solved!)
If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!
The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!
Posted by Jani 
