Get The [censored] Out Of My [censored] Way!

Obviously no clerk should ever say anything like that to a customer. That’d be a big no-no. Well, not aloud anyway.

Most of the time, it’s the clerk who must either wait for the customer to get out of the way, or go around them. There are though a few cases when the customer should move for the good of clerk-kind, and will move if they have any common sense. (Common sense being the first thing people tend to lose on the way to the stores…)

Here’s my rant of the week, of an event at work yesterday.
The store, which by the way is really quite small, was awash with customers, many of them the hopeless wanderers who couldn’t find the floor without asking for help. Just the way I like it, a slalom course of screaming kids running around, mothers and their baby prams and shopping bags, sweet old grandmas complaining about the cost of everything and other lost souls staring at the ceiling as if someone had written the meaning of life up there.

Navigating the store under these circumstances is a slight task, so I upped the ante. I took it upon myself to carry 5 boxes of candlelights, stacked on top of each other somewhat precariously, each weighing approximately 12KG, from one end of the store to the other. Had to be done, as the boxes haven’t yet learned how to fly that distance, regardless of me persistently training them.

Now, I know my way around the store, and I’m not akin to an elephant in a porcelain store. Nevertheless, the excursion I was about to take was no walk in the park. Being pressed for time just made it ever so slightly more interesting.

Having picked up the 5 boxes, I proceed to my first roadblock: a mother who has parked her baby pram right in front of curtain acting as a door to the back room.
“Excuse me, could I get through please?” (Repeat once.) Pram is moved.
“Thank you!”

Second roadblock: the sad excuse of an organized queue, with people lining up from three different directions to one checkout counter.
“Excuse me.” (Repeat to five different customers) Customers glance and shift ever so slightly in four different directions. (Common sense, where art thou?)

Third roadblock: Middle-aged man has a question.
“Where have you hidden the reading glasses?”
“They’re right behind you.”

Fourth roadblock: A few kids running around playing tag, barely missing other customers and almost dropping items off them shelves.
“Careful, you might hurt yourself running around in here. There’s more space outside for you to run.” (Do I care if you hurt yourself while running around in a small space like a headless chicken? Um, no. I just don’t want to have clean up after you, on top everything else.)

Fifth roadblock: Old man dazed and confused, staring at nothing in general. Also, listening to absolutely nothing.
“Excuse me.” (Repeat three times with varying volume levels, then make it obvious you’re trying to get past.)

Sixth roadblock: Middle-aged woman bumps into me, nearly knocking the top box off my pile, in which case it would have fallen onto another customer.
I apologize. “I’m sorry.” The reply? An angry look. (I apologize dearly for you bumping into me. Geez.)

Seventh roadblock: Several people picking out Christmas cards.
“Excuse me.”
“Sorry.” (Customers move, but point their chit-chat in my direction.)
“You have a lot of really nice Christmas cards this year.” (Lady, they’re exactly the same cards as last year…)

Eight roadblock: Somebody’s shopping bags in the middle of the path. (Look around for owner of said bags, spot a possible candidate.)
“Excuse me, are these your bags?”
“Oh I’m sorry, didn’t realize I left them blocking the path.” (Quite alright, just watch where you put your bags. I almost stepped on your groceries. But anyway, thank you for the sincere apology.)

Ninth roadblock: Old woman approaches me with that look, the look of ‘I have absolutely no idea what I’m looking for, but you’re going to help me find it’.
“Do you work here?”
“Yes I do.” (The fact that I’m wearing a short sleeve workshirt while everyone else has a winter coat on, or the 5 boxes I’m currently carrying didn’t give you a hint?)
“Good, then you can come help me.” (Grabs me by the arm and starts pulling me into the direction I just came from.)
“Sure thing, lemme just put these boxes away first just over there.”
“Oh, fine then.” (Doesn’t seem satisfied that the service wasn’t instantaneous.)

Repeat above scenario x number of times, multiply by lack of sleep to the power of I need coffee.

That’s shipment day during busy seasons.

If you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at The Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!