10 Things NOT To Say To A Clerk When Trying To Get A Discount

Everyone loves discounts, right? At the very least people lose their minds over discounts. Discounts are a simple way of making a customer feel as if he or she is getting a great deal no their purchase. They’re an integral part of the shopping experience, not unlike haggling and browsing the shelves. (please, for the love of God, DON’T try to haggle at a supermarket.)

There is a certain etiquette involved with successful inquiries into the possibility of a discount. This’ll be the topic of today’s post, more specifically about what NOT to say to a clerk when trying to get a discount.

There are three kinds of discounts. There’s the discounts which apply to all customers, i.e. ‘50% off all summer clothing’, ‘buy 3 get one free’, etc. There’s the discounts which apply to preferred customers, as in those who possess a particular store’s bonus card or such, i.e. ‘additional 10% off for bonus card holders’, etc. And then there’s the extraneous discounts which apply on a case to case basis, i.e. buying an item which is a little dented, or the last of it’s kind and not in pristine condition, etc.

There’s a specific time and place for asking for different types of discounts, and this is the one thing which most people don’t understand. In the list of 10 things NOT to say to a clerk when trying to get a discount, below, my focus is on supermarkets and retail stores, although many of the 10 apply to restaurants, taxis, hotels, and many other places where consumers come into contact with customer service.

The rule of the thumb is that clerks are most likely to give a discount to two kinds of customers: the nice ones, and the ones they want to get rid of. Were it up to me, only the nice customers would ever get any discount. Alas, it’s not up to me, and clerks have to listen to some of these award-winning quotes:

10: “I want a discount.”
Sure you do. We all do. But hey, any chance you could say it a little nicer? You sound like a 4-year old kid having a temper tantrum just because mommy won’t buy you a Super Ultra Cool Action Person with (Non-)Lethal Karate Plop Action(!). Pipe down, chill out, and explain to the clerk why you should get a discount. In a mature voice. Be reasonable.

9: “I could get this cheaper somewhere else, so if you want my business, you’ll give me a discount.”
Newsflash: The clerk in front of you really does not care whether or not you shop here or at the place down the street. Chances are you already shop at both places anyway. The clerk just works there. Unless the manager is breathing down their neck at that moment.
This kind of line, properly altered to be firm, yet polite, and not directed at the clerk per say, will work in some cases. It’s called ‘price matching’. I’ve only ever heard of this and have never actually had to experience it, but from what I’ve heard, especially electronic stores in the U.S. practice this kind of service. The idea is that, say Store A is selling an mp3 player for 179.99, and Store B, where you happen to prefer to shop at has the same player for 199.99, there’s the chance that Store B could drop the price for you to match that of Store A. Why? To be competitive. Note, this doesn’t work everywhere, and it doesn’t work in supermarkets or chains that have little or no competition in the same field.
Oh, and if you know you can get this particular item for cheaper down the road, why don’t you just hop on your Flintstone mobile and go there instead?

8: “It must be free then.” (when barcode doesn’t work, or it’s taking a while to find a price/code for an item.)
This has to be the most popular joke heard from customers. I hear it pretty much every other shift, atleast once. I’ve heard it being said about anything from a candy bar to a gas grill. I understand that many people use this phrase in the form or as a joke, but it’s getting old. So listen up people! Nothing is free. Nothing. I’ll explain further in a future post. For the sake of brevity.

7: “I shop here everyday and I think I deserve either a discount or something for free.”
Customers who focus their shopping at a particular store for that kind of goods are known as valued customers. That’s why stores have bonus cards or such which grant the consumer certain benefits, such as focused discounts or paying them back in cold hard cash.
The fact that you shop somewhere all the time doesn’t make you anymore special than the other people who do so. Be satisfied with what you get, because there’s already a benefits program in place for people such as yourself.

6: “I’m buying so much that I get a discount, right?”
Wrong. That might work at a flea market, a fish market or at an open air market. It’s a form of haggling. The clerk is the last person you should be saying this to, as they have guidelines to follow and can’t break the rules. And what exactly do you mean with ‘a lot’? If you purchase several thousand Euros or Dollars worth at your local grocery store, that’s a lot. It’s an arbitrary term. If the store has some kind of guidelines for issuing discounts for large purchases, you’re automatically covered.

5: “This item is ridiculously overpriced. I’ll pay (substantially less) for it.”
The items in stores are typically carefully priced, with regard to demand, availability and competitiveness. The consumer already determines the prices by their shopping trends. Why should you be granted a discount on an item which someone else would be willing to pay the full price for?

4: “I can’t afford this. Can I get a discount?”
Um, no. If you can’t afford something, maybe you shouldn’t buy it. The retail industry works on a for-profit business model, it’s not a charity organization. In today’s world, there’s a lot of competition between stores to offer the consumer the lowest possible prices. If something’s still too expensive for you, you don’t need it. Or get a credit card. Personal debt ought to be a great way of educating you on not purchasing something you can’t afford.

3: “There’s (a tiny speck of) dirt on this, so I’m not going to pay the full price for it.”
You just had to dig through the whole pile, just to find the one that wasn’t in pristine condition, didn’t you? Just to save a few pennies? Why? Most of the time there will be more of an item in stock so that you don’t have to buy the one that’s a little dirty or dented. If it really is the last one, then you might get a discount. If you say it’s the last one, but the shelves are full of that particular item, you’re scamming the store. I hear this line so often that it’s past the point when it’s random. Some customers do this everyday, for all kinds of items. Dirt is everywhere people! 9 times out of 10, the dirt will come off with a gentle swipe or wash.

2: “I don’t really want this but if you’ll give me good discount I might buy it.”
If you don’t want it, don’t buy it. Someone else might want it. Of tens of thousands of items in the store, why pick one you don’t want?
I know, I know, the customer in question is merely trying to get a discount on something that he or she really does want, but not like this, please. The clerk isn’t stupid.

1: “I’m not paying for this.”
Alright, I’ll call security then. Ok, no one is dumb enough to say this when they’re shoplifting. Well, maybe someone might say that is such cases, but usually when this is uttered it’s to throw the clerk off guard and throw the ball in their court. Too lazy to present any grounds for why they should get a discount, too lazy to even ask for one, the customer expects the clerk to offer them a deal. Um, we’re not mind readers. And we might not be in a position to offer you a deal. Pay the full price or move along. Thank you for not shopping here!

+1: This just happened to me recently. Woman walks in, browses a bit, then comes to me with a white ballpoint pen. The conversation went something like this:
“Hi. This pen is dirty.”
“They get like that because of the price tag.”
“No one will buy this because it’s dirty. I’ll buy it.”
“Ok, that’ll be 3.90 thank you.”
“I already have one at home, I don’t need another one. I’ll pay 50 cents for it.”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing wrong with the pen. Here, see. (I wipe the dirt off with one swipe.) It costs 3.90. If you really want the pen, I can give you a 10% discount on it.”
“Well, if my money isn’t good here I’ll go elsewhere.”

Righto. Another day, another whackjob.

I have purposely limited this list to just 10 (+1) banned phrases, in the interest of keeping this post short and simple. If you have any quotes to add to this list, please write them in the comments section below. Don’t forget, if you have a story relating to this post, from either side of the counter, let’s hear it!

The customer is NOT always right. If you agree with this, or wish to know what to do and not do as a consumer, please subscribe to this blog’s updates by the way of the RSS feed or email subscriptions. Thank you for shopping at the Consumer Etiquette Guide, now go and make someone have a nice day at work!